IMAGEN GRACIOSA. IMAGEN DIVERTIDA FUNNY GIF Chuck norris facts chistes y verdades sobre chuck norris PART 2 ENGLISH

1. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 2519 8.568
2. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square. 621 8.530
3. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. 2949 8.507
4. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. 3831 8.485
5. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants. 3125 8.479
6. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 2604 8.434
7. Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. 2842 8.433 Chuck Norris can speak braille. 2188 8.428
8. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. 5533 8.408
9. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 1597 8.391
10. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 1840 8.334
11. Chuck Norris was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris." 39 8.308
12. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves. 610 8.302
13. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 1095 8.289
14. In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself. 58 8.259
15. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 1871 8.256
16. They're making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck Norris. Its called 1 51 8.196
17. On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence. 811 8.189
18. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 1208 8.181
19. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. 936 8.159
20. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon 171 8.146
21. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 1259 8.132
22. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance." 1164 8.076 Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. 1275 8.071
23. Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch. 225 8.053
24. Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time. 181 8.050 If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef. 1318 8.027
25. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. 1304 8.024
26. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. 2890 8.007
27. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. 1265 8.000 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 1188 7.977
28. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. 1283 7.887 Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 1019 7.801 Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. 996 7.793
29. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. 1069 7.789
30. Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result. 1456 7.757
31. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris 969 7.751
32. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 1318 7.726 Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone. 1001 7.708
33. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. 867 7.704
34. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister. 944 7.693
35. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash. 1146 7.686 Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 1012 7.660
36. Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel. 1033 7.634
37. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. 765 7.633
38. Chuck Norris owns a custom belt sander with three settings: Low, High, and Shave. 32 7.625
39. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. 952 7.604
40. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano 237 7.603
41. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. 967 7.592
42. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is an optical illusion. His right foot doesn't swing around and hit your head, his left foot spins the earth so that your head hits his foot. 61 7.557
43. Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up. 973 7.545
44. Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder. 554 7.531
45. Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body. 1062 7.517
46. The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep. 717 7.510
47. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this. 885 7.494 Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. 924 7.481
48. Chuck Norris could win America's Got Talent simply by walking on the stage. 25 7.480
49. Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. 508 7.445 Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first. 133 7.436
50. Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants. 891 7.432
51. Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul. 950 7.431
52. Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins. 822 7.422 Chuck Norris can drown a fish. 808 7.422
53. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. 808 7.411
54. The only thing that gets between Chuck Norris and justice is an equal sign. 38 7.395
55. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris 849 7.392
56. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. 805 7.391
57. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. 873 7.387
58. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost. 803 7.384
59. When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please." 1077 7.381
60. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box. 731 7.378
61. There are no such things as shooting stars. The bright streaking objects you see at night are the bodies of Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick victims as they re-enter the atmosphere. 32 7.375
62. In 1991, Chuck Norris shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 strokes. 118 7.373
63. Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life. 328 7.366
64. Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris. 137 7.365
65. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick. 928 7.356
66. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.
    1093 7.345
67. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. 827 7.345
68. The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things. 838 7.337
69. Chuck Norris once won a hot dog eating contest by consuming 100 hot dogs and six contestants in under three minutes. 27 7.333
70. Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris. 969 7.327
71. Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley. 312 7.321
72. Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way. 582 7.297
73. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. 796 7.294
74. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. 548 7.272
75. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye. 531 7.237
76. Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies". 1189 7.235
77. Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." 985 7.235
78. Piñatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims. 843 7.235
79. Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is. 923 7.233
80. Chuck Norris once pulled a building out of a burning building. 32 7.219
81. Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you." 810 7.212
82. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 883 7.210
83. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist. 760 7.208
84. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him. 805 7.200
85. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet. 727 7.195
86. Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure. 935 7.193
87. Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says. 806 7.192
88. Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.
89. Chuck can unscramble eggs